Lights Will Guide You Home
by LesboDyke
Summary: Upon landing, Bellamy realised that in order to establish himself as Leader, he had to deal with Clarke. Killing her would incite a rebellion, so he made a new plan. He'd break her spirit, make her obey and the others would fall in line. Able to recognise the signs of abuse, Lexa keeps Clarke safe in Polis and tries to help her come back to herself.
1. The Agreement

**So no-one spends forever trying to think, title is from Coldplays 'Fix You' and is a slight joke towards Lexa's candle obsession.**

 **Now onwards:**  
 **This is NOT a safe fic if you like Bellamy. At all. He is painted as a monster, pure and simple, within this fic. I don't wanna hear you whining about how I've portrayed him, the tags warn you and I'm warning you here.**

 **This is also a triggerful Fic. I will be doing my very best to be respectful, but there are serious issues being addressed in this fic, so while I hope for some fun and games (I do have some very cute moments planned out!) this will be a heavy fic. You have been warned.**

 **Those things out of the way, enjoy the pain I bring you~!**

* * *

Lexa wasn't blind. She wasn't stupid either, and seeing this blonde, stood before her, hunched over and blinking rapidly, Lexa knew what she had to do.

"Yes, we will accept Skaikru into our coalition. But we need an ambassador to stay here. Someone of my choosing." Lexa's voice was firm as she stared down the party before her. The lady Chancellor, the warrior boy and the tiny blonde who looked so terrified of what was going on.

"Of course!" The lady Chancellor agreed instantly. She was smart, Lexa could see that she would do anything to protect her people. She could respect that.

"Her." Lexa motioned it the blonde. "She shall be your emissary and remain here in Polis." She looked to the blonde, attempting to establish eye contact, though that didn't work as she continued to simply stare the ground and fidget.

"Anyone else." The warrior spoke, clearly out of turn if the look on the Chancellor's face was anything to go by.  
"You can have anyone else but if she stays, so do I."

"No deal." Lexa said, easily locking eyes with the warrior, staring him down. He'd just confirmed her suspicions.  
"She stays, alone, or your clan will be an enemy of the coalition and we will have no choice but to deny our protection and allow events to unfold."

"I'll stay..." The voice was quiet and Lexa had to force her face not to soften at such a timid sound.

"Clarke!" The Warrior's tone was scolding, like how someone would speak to a misbehaving small child. The blonde, Clarke, shrank down smaller than before, fidgeting slightly.

"She'll stay." The Chancellor's voice mirrored Lexa's. Firm, authoritative and leaving no room for argument. The Warrior went to protest, but this time it was Lexa who cut him off.

"Wonderful. Chancellor Griffin, we shall brand you as Heda and then you and your party may return to your land, bar your Emissary, who shall remain here." Lexa nodded, motioning to one of her own warriors.  
"Take the Chancellor to be prepared for the branding. We shall perform the ceremony in an hour." She instructed, standing from her throne and nodding to the Warrior.  
"You have until then to say your goodbyes." _And if there's a single bruise on her when you leave, I'll tear your hands off myself._ Lexa added on to herself as she stared him down before heading off to her own room.

Removing her cloak, Lexa rolled her shoulders slowly, breathing out a soft sigh. She was doing the right thing. She'd save this girl, Clarke, from the Warrior. She couldn't **stand** people who thought it okay to hurt their comrades. But without proof outside of Clarke's reactions in her throne room, Lexa could do nothing but keep her here in he hopes of protecting her from further pain. Maybe one day she'd get justice for her suffering, but sadly, that wouldn't be today.

The hour went too slowly for Lexa's liking, especially with the knowledge that the blonde was likely being berated and possibly even physically injured, but Lexa endured the best she could.  
And then it was time. Lexa watched from her throne as the Chancellor bravely took the brand on her forearm, barely even wincing as the flesh sizzled from the burn.  
Stepping down and offering out her other arm, Lexa offered the Chancellor a slight smile. She gripped Lexa's upper forearm and the two nodded to each other.

"Welcome to the coalition, Griffin kum Skaikru." Lexa said formally before stepping back. "I'll arrange for a consignment of warriors to escort you and your young friend back to Arkadia and to remain there to help train your people, should you need it."

"Thank you." The Chancellor nodded before turning to Clarke and cupping her face gently, kissing her forehead. "Be good, Clarke. I love you."

"I love you too, Mom." Clarke whispered and Lexa couldn't help but wonder what 'Mom' meant. She made a mental note to ask Clarke at a later point. And then the Warrior stepped towards Clarke. Turning away, unable to watch, Lexa gave instructions to Indra to gather a small fighting force to escort the newest Heda back to her lands.

Watching her warriors leave with the Chancellor, Lexa turned to Clarke, allowed her face to finally form the look of kindness she had so wanted to give the blonde. She seemed scared. Beyond scared, she seemed terrified. Hunched over and fidgety, like a rabbit right before a predator snatches it up.

"Come." Lexa said softly, offering a hand out to Clarke. "Allow me to show you to your room, Clarke kum Skaikru." She watched carefully as Clarke eyed her hand before nodding and taking it gently. What shocked Lexa, however, was the fact that Clarke laced her fingers with the commanders, rather than simply holding her hand to allow herself to be lead.  
"Things are different in Polis than I imagine them to be in Arkadia." Lexa said as she began to walk, finding she rather enjoyed the grip that Clarke had on her hand. "There is no violence within the city limits, other than official tournaments, and people may walk the streets without any fear of those around them." She wanted to make these points clear to Clarke. She didn't have to be afraid here.

Leading her back into the tower, Lexa continued to talk about her home. "Your room shall be next to mine and if you ever encounter a problem within Polis, you are more than welcome to request my assistance." An offer Lexa had never offered any of her other ambassadors, not that they tended to live in Polis year round. But Clarke was different. Having seen this behaviour before, from her most promising Nightblood, Lexa couldn't allow Clarke to remain in an environment of fear and would do all she could to protect her.  
"Now, only the warriors speak your tongue, so until you have mastered the basics of our language, I must suggest you don't leave the Tower without an escort of some kind, simply to avoid confusion. However, if this idea does not appeal to you, you are more than welcome to disregard it." It was all about choice. About returning power. Glancing to Clarke, Lexa registered the look of confusion on her face.  
"Do you have a question?" She asked, hoping to hear Clarke speak again. She seemed to consider it, before shaking her head and looking to the floor again. Lexa bit back a sigh. One step at a time.

They came to a halt outside of Clarke's room, Lexa pausing to allow Clarke to draw level before speaking again.  
"This is your room. There is a bathroom inside, along with a fireplace. No one shall enter without your permission, although I advise you allow the cleaning staff access." A slight smile graced Lexa's face at her own joke, although Clarke simply eyed the door warily.

"It's mine?" Again her voice was quiet, and had Lexa not been stood directly next to her, she'd have had to strain in order to hear it.

"Yes. It's yours."

"Private?" Lexa's heart jumped as Clarke spoke again.

"Yes. No one shall enter without permission." She'd repeat herself as many times as needed in order to bring some comfort.

"Not even you?"

"Not even me." Clarke nodded, as if considering the sentences very carefully. Slowly, she unpeeled her hand from Lexa's and reached for the doorhandle. Twisting it, she pushed it open and stepped inside the room, shutting the door behind her. Lexa held in a soft chuckle.

"Goodnight, Clarke kum Skaikru." She called through the door. Waiting a moment and receiving no reply, Lexa turned and headed for her own bedroom. It would be an uphill battle, even more so than with Aden, but Lexa was determined. She **would** undo the damage done to poor Clarke.


	2. The Next Morning

**While most of these chapters will be following Lexa, for storyline purposes, a few will switch to Clarke, and this is one of them!**  
 **Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"Goodnight, Clarke kum Skaikru." Clarke's eyes widened at the words through the door and footsteps that followed moments later. The Commander was actually sticking to her word. She'd left.

Which was a problem.

Glancing around the room, Clarke bit her lip. She didn't know how to make a fire, Bellamy had always done that and she was clueless. Although part of her desperately wanted to bathe, to soothe her sore muscles and bruises, the rest of her didn't much fancy fighting with a new method of plumbing that no one had explained to her. After all, what might happen if she broke something?

Her attention shifted to the bed. There was a bed. And no one else here. So, in theory, she could sleep on the bed. But... well, she wasn't allowed to sleep on beds. Not unless something was going to happen, and there was no one here for anything to happen with, so she couldn't sleep in the bed. It wasn't worth the risk. If Bellamy found out... A shudder ran through Clarke and the decision was made. No bed.  
She gathered the blankets from the bed, however. There was no one in need of them, and carefully constructed herself a nest in the corner. The sun had already gone down, and with the absence of a fire, Clarke was struggling to see as she finished off her sleeping area. But as she settled down, it didn't seem to matter much. It was comfier than many of the places she'd slept, so it would do. Closing her eyes, Clarke allowed a soft sense of relief to wash over. She was, for at least tonight and hopefully longer, free.

A knock on the door jerked Clarke from her sleep and she bit her lip to keep herself silent.

"Clarke? Clarke kum Skaikru, are you awake?" It was the Commander again. Clarke made a note that she needed to learn her name if she was going to stay here forever.

"I'm awake!" Clarke felt pride that her voice didn't shake as she called back through the door. She stood, smoothing down her clothes and quickly setting her blankets back on the bed.

"Would you be interested in accompanying me for a meal?" Food did sound good. She hadn't eaten the day before. Bellamy was annoyed with her, and with her mom around he hadn't been able to punish her in any other way. Her stomach snarled viciously and Clarke opened the door to her room, offering the Commander the best smile she could manage. She looked much softer without her make up and her armour and trailing cloak.  
"Did you not light a fire?" A frown creased the Commanders forehead and it was then that Clarke noticed the temperature difference between her room and the hallway. She shrugged, not wanting to admit that she hadn't been able to.  
"Can the cleaners enter your room?" Clarke bit her lip. Maybe they'd be able to light the fire. She nodded softly.

"Yes." The Commanders face lit up in a bright smile as she nodded.

"That's wonderful. Leave the door slightly open so they'll know to go in." She explained before offering her hand to Clarke once more. Clarke once again took it, lacing her fingers through the Commanders again. It was a deliberate move. Bellamy never held her hand like this, he said it made his hand sweaty and he hated it. It was comfort, a distinct difference between the two of them.

"What's your name?" Clarke asked after a moment of silence. She needed to know. There was a chance that it had already been said, but Clarke didn't know, she couldn't remember.

"My name? Lexa kum Trikru." Clarke knew Lexa was looking at her, but she kept her own eyes trained downwards.

"Kum Trikru? What does that mean? You say something kinda the same about me and my Mom?" Clarke asked, her curiosity over-powering her shyness for a moment. She'd read books about other languages on the Ark, but no one really spoke them anymore. Everyone just spoke English.

"I'm not sure of the direct translation. But you are Skaikru, you came from the sky, as does Chancellor Griffin. I am Trikru, I come from the forest." Lexa explained and Clarke nodded, filing away the information gleefully.

"Do you have a surname?" Was Clarke's next question. She still loved to learn, she wanted to know everything she could.

"What is a... sur-name?" Lexa asked, slowly sounding out the word as if it was unfamiliar. Clarke finally looked up at Lexa, smiling slightly.

"A family name. Mine is Griffin. Clarke Griffin." She explained, watching as Lexa frowned again, clearly thinking through it.

"What is the Chancellor's sur-name?"

"Griffin, same as mine. She's my Mom."

"What is a mom?" Lexa asked and Clarke bit her lip. Do people on the Ground not know their parents?

"She's... the woman who gave birth to me." Clarke settled on after a moment of struggling through phrasing. Lexa nodded slowly.

"Then what is her actual name?"

"Abby. Abby Griffin." Lexa nodded again as Clarke smiled slightly. Breaking barriers.

"So you are Clarke Griffin kum Skaikru?" Clarke chuckled softly, biting her bottom lip to try and quiet the noise.

"That's a bit long winded. Perhaps we could just go with Clarke?" Clarke suggested hopefully. Lexa smiled at Clarke.

"I can agree to that. And unless we're in an official situation, you are welcome to call me Lexa."

"Thank you... Lexa." Clarke nodded, the wall steadily coming back up as she moved her eyes back down to the ground. She'd probably said too much. She'd probably frustrated Lexa or annoyed her. She had a big mouth, talked too much. It was pity, the reason Lexa hadn't hurt her. Pity, like everyone else.

"Are you hungry?" Lexa asked after a moment of silence. Before Clarke could answer, her stomach let out a vicious snarl.  
"That answers that question." Lexa chuckled softly. Clarke's face burned. It was her own fault she was hungry, there was the pity again.  
"There's going to be a lot of people in here, Clarke." Lexa warned softly, stopping outside of a set of double doors. "Everyone who lives in the tower eats in here. None of them are going to hurt you, you can stay close to me, but there are going to be a lot of people." Clarke's stomach curled in on itself, but she nodded. She could handle this. Large groups weren't too bad.

"I'll be okay." She promised Lexa, sucking in a calming breath as she pushed the door open.


	3. Breakfast

**I'm not really pleased with this chapter. I got struck by writers block about two sentences in -_- But I pushed forward so you've got something, at least!**  
 **And hopefully, with that out of the way, the rest will go much smoother. (Hah, not bloody likely!)**  
 **Also fixed an issue with Trigedasleng where I put 'kum' instead of 'kom'. I'll eventually go fix it in the earlier chapters, but I am lazy.**  
 **It's currently HORRIFICALLY short but that's because I just wanted it posted and out of the way, so sorry on that point too!**  
 **Now without further ado~!**

* * *

Lexa kept a close eye on Clarke as she pushed open the door to the communal dining area. Used to people coming and going as they pleased, barely anyone looked up as they entered the room. Lexa was fairly certain she felt Clarke's grip on her hand tighten as they moved through the rows of tables towards the Commanders table.

"What are you hungry for, Clarke?" Lexa asked softly as she guided her into her seat and finally released her hand, her focus entirely on the blonde. Clarke shrugged, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Whatever you don't want..." She mumbled and Lexa frowned. She sat next to Clarke, turning to face her.

"That's not how this works, Clarke. You get your own food. Why don't I get you the same plate as me and you can pick and choose, does that sound okay?" Clarke nodded, although Lexa had a feeling that Clarke would currently have agreed to anything she suggested. Standing, Lexa headed off to grab plates from the pots that hung over the small fires, though she glanced back at Clarke often, unsurprised to see the blonde hunched small and nervous.

She was quick, in gathering their food. Simple things, a crust of bread each, some soft cheese from the goats, a small amount of the stew and a piece of fruit. Lexa highly doubted that Clarke would manage to eat all of it, but she'd much rather set it in front of the blonde than give her less than she needed. What was left would be dealt with.

"Here." Lexa set the plate in front of Clarke with a slight smile, re-taking her seat. She watched as Clarke eyed the food as if it was going to eat her, rather than the other way around.

"Eat as much as you like. There's plenty to go around." Again Lexa internally cursed the man who had done this to Clarke. Deciding to lead by example, however, Lexa turned her attention to her own plate, beginning to eat in the hopes that Clarke would follow. There were a few moments where she panicked, thinking that it wasn't going to work, but then Clarke shakily lifted the spoon and began to eat the stew.

"Heda!" The loud voice was then accompanied by a clatter as Clarke dropped her spoon and Lexa cursed inside her head until she saw Aden running up to the head table, eyes bright. So different than the boy that had came to them only two years prior.

Arranging her face to hide her mild frustration, Lexa smiled as her Nightblood pulled to a halt in front of the table, narrowly avoiding skidding into the furniture.

"Yes, Aden?" She asked, taking much the same tone with him as she did with Clarke. Aden quickly glanced at the blonde, clearly confused by her, before returning his attention to Lexa and grinning brightly.

"Titus said we have a new guest. Is this her? Will she be training with us too, like the people from the other clans do sometimes? Hello, I'm Aden, it's nice to meet you." After directing his first few questions to Lexa, he turned to Clarke and introduced himself. Always getting it backwards.

Clarke didn't answer him, her eyes wide as she shifted slightly closer to Lexa. Struggling to hide her amusement at Aden's enthusiasm, Lexa nodded.

"Yes, this is our Guest. Her name is Clarke Griffin kom Skaikru and no, for now she won't be training with you. And you are meant to introduce yourself before you ask questions." A soft scolding tone laced her words as she attempted to impress the message of be kind without having to use the words. Aden hesitated before turning back to Clarke and offering her one of his incredible grins.

"Hello, Clarke Griffin kom Skaikru. I'm Aden kom Trikru. Welcome to Polis." Lexa watched as Clarke eyed the boy before dipping her head slightly.

"Hello, Aden kom Trikru." Lexa couldn't help but smile at the way Clarke seemed to trip, just slightly, over the unfamiliar words. Aden continued to beam, though he quickly turned back to Lexa.

"Titus asked me to deliver a message to you, Heda." Switching into Trigedasleng, Aden continued. "He wishes to discuss your decision to have an Ambassador stay with us permanently. He's worried about what drove the decision." Lexa went to scold Aden for not speaking English in front of their guest, but when she heard the contents of the message, she was thankful. Clarke didn't need to feel in any way unwelcome here. She had enough battles ahead of her, without that.

"Thank you, Aden. Please return the message that I shall see Titus at some point today." Aden nodded, bowing slightly to Lexa and grinning at Clarke before hurrying off again. Lexa sighed to herself as she resumed eating, noticing how Clarke had been picking at her plate the entire time they'd been talking. One step in the right direction on one issue, and an hour or two of arguing with the Flamekeeper over her decisions.

It was going to be a long day.


	4. A Conversation

**I actually like this chapter~! Huzzah! And there's a nice fluffy moment at the end for all of y'all.**

* * *

Leaving Clarke alone was a hard decision for Lexa. But Lexa knew she had no choice. The conversation between her and Titus would not be a pleasant one, and she didn't need Clarke to even guess that the yelling was stemmed from people not wanting her here.

So Lexa had left Clarke in her room, with the assurance that she was free to move around the Capital as she pleased, although she had a distinct feeling that Clarke wouldn't leave her room. But either way, it would prevent her from overhearing.

She found Titus in the throne room with the Nightbloods. Offering them a greeting, Lexa mentally steeled herself, preparing herself for the extended argument that was due to come. She had her points all mapped out in her head, but she had a feeling that it wouldn't matter. Titus would re-iterate that to be Commander was to be alone and she shouldn't let her personal feelings get involved in politics.  
Not that Lexa planned on listening. At all. She wasn't doing this to not be alone, she was doing this because she wanted to protect the blonde. It seemed to be blondes that had it bad when it came to these things. She glanced at Aden for a second before straightening further.

"Down to the training area and fight." Titus ordered and the Nightbloods stood, hurrying out of the room. Lexa watched them go with a fond smile. They'd all make great leaders, her Spirit would be spoiled for choice, when the time came.  
Lexa crossed her arms, looking her Flamekeeper up and down slowly. She was prepared for this fight.

"You wished to see me?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow at him as she moved to sit on her throne. A subtle reminder that she was in power wouldn't do any harm. She was the Commander. Her decisions were final, no matter what Titus thought on the matter.

"Yes, Heda. I wanted to talk to you about the Skaikru Ambassador. You've never extended such an offer to any of the other Kru's. I was wondering..."

"Skaikru is new. They do not know our customs or our ways. While Indra and her force are teaching some of our ways to those in Arkadia, I shall teach the Ambassador. And I shall learn some of their ways and see what can be useful for our people." Lexa explained, her voice level. She didn't plan on informing Titus that she was saving poor Clarke from a life of abuse. This was information that no one other than herself needed to know, until Clarke was open to admitting what had gone on.

"Then why not the Warrior? Why the girl, Heda? Surely, in terms of teaching us useful things from their life in the Sky, a warrior would be a better fit than a simple girl." Lexa tensed at the mention of the Warrior. If he'd have stayed, the coalition would have ended in seconds once she threw him off of the tower. He was lower than scum.

"Because the Warrior is needed in Arkadia. Azgeda is still a threat to them, as are the Mountain Men. They need every fighter they have." _Not that he is much of a fighter if he picks on defenceless girls like Clarke._ "Clarke Griffin kom Skaikru would not be much missed within the community, she is of more use here than back there." Lexa could see the look on Titus' face. It appeared he didn't believe her. He had every right not to believe her, of course, she was lying right to his face, but it still irritated her that he didn't believe her.

"Are you certain those are the _only_ reasons, Heda?" Titus asked. Lexa stood, staring him down with her best Commander face.

"You don't question me, Titus. I am Heda. I have made my decision, regarding the Ambassador. My motives matter none on the issue, when I know it was the right thing to do for my people." She stepped down until she was level with Titus, meeting his eye firmly.  
"If you truly wish to question my decisions, perhaps you should attempt to let someone else rise to the throne before my death. However if you've no plans on doing such a thing, I refuse to speak on this subject any further. And should you bring these feelings up in front of our Ambassador, you shall be out of a job, Flamekeeper. Am I understood?" Titus bowed his head softly.

"Yes, Heda."

"Good. Now go attend to your duty with the Nightbloods. I have other, far more pressing, issues to deal with." Another dip of his head and Titus left the Throne Room. Lexa sighed as she slumped back into her Throne, running her fingers through her hair softly. It was silent for a moment before the door creaked open again, revealing Clarke.

"Oh... Lexa. S-Sorry I was just... exploring..." Clarke mumbled, her eyes going wide as Lexa quickly stood, offering Clarke a smile.

"That is quite alright, Clarke. What else have you found in the tower?" She questioned, moving towards the blonde carefully. Clarke fidgeted, shuffling carefully before shrugging.

"Nothing... I was trying to find this room again."

"Ah. Is there anywhere else you'd like to see?" Clarke shook her head, biting her bottom lip softly. Lexa noted her facial expression. Much the same as one she'd seen last night.  
"Do you have a question?" Another long pause before Clarke spoke again, her voice quieter than ever before.

"Can you... can you teach me how to light a fire?" Lexa's eyes went wide. Was that why her room had been so cold? Gods, she was so stupid. She should have realised that there were things Clarke didn't know how to do.

"Of course." Lexa said instantly, offering her hand out to Clarke again with a soft smile.  
"Would you like to learn in your room or mine?" She asked as Clarke tangled their fingers together again, gripping her gently.

"Mine?"

"Wonderful. Would you like to lead the way and see if you can find your way back?" Clarke nodded and Lexa smiled as the blonde began to walk through the halls carefully.  
Lexa had to fight the urge to praise and celebrate as they reached Clarke's doorway. It would be patronising and not the right move.  
"May I enter your room?" She still asked permission as Clarke opened the door.

"Yeah." Clarke agreed, not releasing Lexa's hand as they entered her room. Lexa glanced around and noticed the bundle of blankets in the corner. She frowned slightly, but focused her attention to the fire.

"What do you know about starting a fire?" Lexa checked, still not wanting to be patronising. She'd heard the Warrior speaking to Clarke like she was a child and refused to do the same thing.

"It needs heat, fuel and air and... that's about it." Lexa sighed softly and nodded. She moved Clarke over to the fireplace and encouraged her to crouch. She gently released Clarke's hand.

"Okay, to start with..." Lexa talked slowly as she walked Clarke through the steps of lighting a fire, bar the actual lighting of it, before watching as the blonde repeated the actions and struck the flint, starting the spark that quickly cultivated into the soft crackle of a fire.

"I made a fire!" Clarke beamed, bouncing up and spinning excitedly. Lexa grinned as she stood, watching Clarke celebrate.

"Yes you did, Clarke. Now your room shall not be cold again."

"Thank you, Lexa!" Clarke stopped her celebration and pulled Lexa into a hug, the action surprising the commander, before she slowly wrapped her arms around the blonde in return, keeping it loose to allow Clarke to pull away as she needed.

"You're welcome, Clarke."


	5. A Nightmare

**NOT A NICE OR FUN CHAPTER!**  
 **Seriously guys, nasty angsty chapter!**  
 **Have fun~!**

* * *

It had been a few days since Clarke had joined the Grounders at Polis. Lexa had taught her how to light a fire and how to use the bath and she was steadily learning her way around the tower and picking up bits of the language. She was actually starting to enjoy herself, a little.

"Goodnight, Clarke." They were stood outside of Clarke's room after a rather exhausting day. Clarke had sat in on an official meeting and although she'd only understood what was said in English, it had still been fascinating.

"Goodnight, Lexa." Clarke smiled, unlacing her fingers from Lexa's and heading into her room. The cleaners had made the bed again. She kept dumping the blankets back on the bed, so it was to be expected that everyone assumed.

Quickly lighting a fire, pride blooming in her chest as the soft crackle started up, Clarke then went about making her nest. It had become a nice routine. Lexa would walk her back to her room after the evening meal and they'd say goodnight. And then Clarke would build a fire, then her nest, and settle down to sleep.  
Crawling into the blankets, Clarke allowed herself to relax. It was nice, in Polis. Things were finally starting to feel safe again. Almost like being back on the Ark.

Sleep was washing over her in peaceful waves and Clarke cuddled herself in smaller on her blankets.

With the sensation of falling, Clarke jerked awake, a scream ripping from her throat without any permission from her brain as she scrambled to sit up anxiously, her eyes wide as she attempted to remind herself where she was.  
As the door burst open, Clarke let out another strangled scream of panic, her brain not registering Lexa in the doorway, gripping a spear.

"Clarke!? What's attacked you!?" She continued on in Trigedeslang. Clarke curled in smaller, starting to shake violently. She was stupid, so stupid and she'd disturbed Lexa's sleep and no one ever stood for having their sleep interrupted on the ground. She'd be hurt again, she'd be sent back, they'd make Bellamy come 'take care' of her again.  
"Clarke?" Lexa was in front of her, suddenly, crouched down low, her face the picture of worry, not that Clarke had registered that. Her face screamed annoyance to Clarke. She drew herself smaller, trying to apologise, although it didn't really work. She couldn't force the words out of her mouth. Lexa shifted to sit, setting the spear behind her as she waited for Clarke to calm enough to form words.  
"It is okay, Clarke. Take your time." Clarke's chest heaved as she struggled for breath, her vision blurring and blackening at odd occasions as she shook, whimpering weakly on every exhale. She screwed her eyes shut, wanting it all to just stop.

It felt like forever before her breathing came back under control and she slowly opened her eyes again. Lexa was still sat in front of her, her face lined with worry.

"Are you ready to talk now, Clarke? Or would you like to just go back to sleep?" Lexa asked softly. Clarke regarded her anxiously, her breathing still a little ragged. She sat herself up a little straighter, realising she'd basically destroyed her nest.

"Sorry..." Clarke finally forced out, hating how rough her voice sounded.

"What are you sorry for?"

"Waking you up. Being a bother... I'm sorry." Clarke flinched as Lexa gently rested a hand on her leg.

"You do not have to apologise for that. What woke you up?"

"I don't really remember..." Clarke admitted, worried that if she didn't answer, or didn't answer well enough, the punishment she was still expecting would come down on her hard.

"That's okay. Did you fall off the bed?" Lexa glanced between the bed and where Clarke was tangled in blankets on the floor. If she had managed to fall, it was an impressive distance.

"No!" Clarke said quickly, shaking her head as fast as she could. "No! I wasn't on the bed, I didn't... I wouldn't... I wasn't on the bed, I promise!" Her breathing started to come harder again, the whimper and wheeze slipping back in as she started to shake.

"Clarke, Clarke calm down!" Lexa's own panic rose at Clarke's extreme response to a simple question.

"I didn't get on the bed! I promise, I was good, I've not been on the bed, I promise! I promise, please, I didn't, please don't hurt me!" Clarke was terrified. What if Lexa didn't believe her? She had a weapon behind her, how much would that hurt if Lexa hit her with it? She should have slept further from the bed, so no one could think that she'd been on it. She should have known better, she was in so much trouble now!

"Clarke, I'm not going to hurt you." Lexa's voice was gentle as she spoke, rubbing her hand along Clarke's leg softly in the hopes that it would help.  
"I promise, no one is going to hurt you. I believe you."

It was another few, long, minutes before Clarke was able to calm down again. She was still shaking slightly, though when she looked to Lexa again, the Commander was still clearly worried about her.

"No one is going to hurt you." Lexa repeated quietly, still softly rubbing Clarke's leg. "I promise." Clarke nodded weakly, not really believing it but willing to agree with whatever Lexa suggested just to keep herself safe.  
"Do you think you can tell me why you're not allowed on the bed?"

"Beds aren't for me... unless it's time for things... And there's no one here to do things with so I'm not allowed on the bed." Lexa was too afraid to ask what 'things' were, though she was certain she had a good idea.

"Those aren't the rules here. You can sleep on the bed, if you want to." Lexa stood, offering her hand down to Clarke with a hopeful smile. "I will lay with you, if you'd like?" She suggested. Clarke's eyes went wide as panic flooded her system once more. Lexa wanted to hurt her too, she knew it! There was only one reason to go on beds and Lexa was offering... She'd be hurt if she refused. She'd have to. It was her duty.

"Okay..." Clarke took Lexa's hand, for once not lacing her fingers with the Commanders. She should have known this would happen eventually. After all, Bellamy had told her over and over that there was no other reason for anyone to want her around. The only thing she was good for was the cunt between her legs. It had been proved to her too. The memory of being tied in the woods and boy after boy after boy using her, not one even trying to save her washed over her. Not even Finn, who'd smiled so kindly when he'd approached, had tried to free her. They'd all done just as Bellamy said they'd do. They'd used her and left her there, not caring what else would happen to her, since they'd gotten what they wanted. Lexa would be the same. Everyone was the same.

Lexa tugged her onto the bed and Clarke swallowed thickly. She couldn't cry. They were just rougher when she cried.

"Lay down." Lexa encouraged gently and Clarke was quick to comply, laying flat on her back and squeezing her eyes shut, waiting for it to start. She felt the bed dip as Lexa lay next to her, curling on her side and facing Clarke.  
"That cannot be a comfortable position." Lexa said softly and Clarke jerked. Was this a game? What should she do? Would she be hurt if she moved? Or would she be hurt if she _didn't_ move? She didn't know what to do.  
"Is that really how you sleep?" She asked and Clarke decided to take a risk. She moved, curling on her side, facing Lexa. It wasn't the side she normally slept on, but she didn't want to put her back to Lexa. Even if she couldn't stop what was happening, she liked to be aware of it, at least. Lexa offered her a soft smile before closing her eyes, one hand resting on Clarke's side. Clarke remained tense, her eyes open as she waited for that hand to move. But it didn't move, and Lexa's breathing slowly evened out into what Clarke recognised as sleep. She'd be in trouble if she stayed in the bed, though. They hadn't done anything, so Clarke hadn't earned the right to sleep in the bed.

She was careful as she slid out from under Lexa's hand and hurried back to her nest, curling under her blankets and closing her eyes, finally. She could see the sunlight starting to peak through the drapes, but she ignored it. Exhaustion was heavy on her shoulders as she finally slipped into a blissful, dreamless sleep.


End file.
